Zombie Desert - Zombie Desert Box Map

broken avatar :(
Created 1729 days ago
by JiffyNoodles
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
7,785 views
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
True Blue Elite
Location: au7 Harm Street, Lowood
Date Registered: 29 March 2014
Last active: 16 days ago
Posts
2,616
Respect
Forum Rank
King of the Zombies
Primary Group
Custom Map Reviewer
My Groups
More
My Contact & Social Links
More
Personal Quote
'Straya Mate
Signature
Please give me beta access, I would LOVE to test CO-OP
×
JiffyNoodles's Groups
Donator ♥ Benevolent Soul who has our eternal gratitude and exclusive access to betas and the donator section of the forum.
Custom Map Reviewer Has permission to post map review topics in the Custom Map Reviews section of the forum.
Oil Rig Beta Access
Oil Rig Beta Access

Welcome to the litter-box...er, I mean the map Zombie Desert. It could be the world’s largest litter-box I guess, but there isn't a cat in the world that would waste his butt truffles on this mess. When I loaded up this map, I was surprised to be surrounded by such beautiful weaponry, then I realised something, why the hell would someone place state-of-the-art weaponry in the middle of the desert? Then it clicked within me, ‘Right. I see how this works, the mapper has dropped me into a wasteland and the one thing I may want to use to keep myself from committing digital suicide is the one thing the mapper took away from me’. This military base may be vacant of anything useful and/or fun, but they've got TVs with everyone's favourite show on them. No, not Seinfeld, Naruto, silly!
There is also a custom Box model, which is a toilet, so you can literally flush your money down the toilet while trying to get the weapon that you so desperately desire. This map boasts about its vast array of weaponry, and it’s not wrong, it has a Halo gun, and guns from so many other games that it feels like it’s trying harder to please you than a Back-Street Hooker. And there are some beautiful guns in the mystery-toilet-box too so I'm not minimizing that either, but it ends up feeling more like an analogy of dating Paris Hilton. What you get may look attractive, but you've got to take like 50 showers after you get it.
Even then, these guns are so piss poor that it isn’t even fun running around with these weapons, as you spend more time either flushing your life savings down the toilet for a good weapon, or just jump out of the map and run around (and through) the vehicles outside. I think this mapper's best weapon is attrition between the tanks I can't use, the Naruto overdose and the porcelain confessional / armoury - moral couldn't be brought any lower...unless my ex-girlfriend showed up with a new boyfriend. Whenever I play this map, no matter how many times I try, this map will always feel like a child has just dumped his collection of model toys in his backyard sandpit, got half-way through assembling it, then ran off to get a cookie from mother. Although the mapper won’t admit it, this map is the epitome of box maps, meaning it is the shiniest turd in the toilet bowl.
Overall, if you managed to survive your 30 rounds of complete and utter shit, and didn’t think once about leaving the game to do something better with your life, then congratulations, you just wasted those precious hours of yours, which you could’ve spent playing leviathan, which came out at the same time as this Sandpit.
Rank: REKT/10
Download Link: http://ugx-mods.com/forum/index.php?topic=6066.0
Last Edit: July 09, 2015, 03:06:13 am by JiffyNoodles
broken avatar :(
  • steviewonder87
  • Deleted Member
×
broken avatar :(
steviewonder87
User
Date Registered: N/A
Last active: N/A
Posts
N/A
Respect
Primary Group
Deleted Member
×
steviewonder87's Groups
steviewonder87's Contact & Social Links
Not one of your better ones To....oh wait it's Jiffy, in that case nice review Jifster :)
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
Location: scotlandGlasgow, Scotland
Date Registered: 11 May 2013
Last active: 85 days ago
Posts
1,049
Respect
Forum Rank
Zombie Colossus
Primary Group
Donator ♥
My Groups
More
My Contact & Social Links
More
Personal Quote
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT
Signature
×
DeathBringerZen's Groups
Donator ♥ Benevolent Soul who has our eternal gratitude and exclusive access to betas and the donator section of the forum.
How did you manage to get map reviewer status again?
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
Location: fi
Date Registered: 25 June 2013
Last active: 16 days ago
Posts
3,999
Respect
Forum Rank
Eviscerator
Primary Group
UGX V.I.P.
My Groups
More
My Contact & Social Links
More
×
HitmanVere's Groups
Donator ♥ Benevolent Soul who has our eternal gratitude and exclusive access to betas and the donator section of the forum.
UGX V.I.P.
UGX V.I.P.
Community Mapper Has released one or more maps to the UGX-Mods community which have been added to the UGX Map Manager.
BO3 Modtools Alpha
BO3 Modtools Alpha
This user has access to the Black Ops 3 Modtools Alpha
How did you manage to get map reviewer status again?



Thanks, Tomi ;)
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
Location: gbNewport
Date Registered: 2 November 2014
Last active: 165 days ago
Posts
1,265
Respect
Forum Rank
Zombie Colossus
Primary Group
Member
My Contact & Social Links
More
Personal Quote
Embrace the Darkness
×
Tim Smith's Groups
Tim Smith's Contact & Social Linkstimsmith90THEREALBaDBoY17TimSmithMy clan Website
nice one very like it good work jiffy :)
broken avatar :(
  • steviewonder87
  • Deleted Member
×
broken avatar :(
steviewonder87
User
Date Registered: N/A
Last active: N/A
Posts
N/A
Respect
Primary Group
Deleted Member
×
steviewonder87's Groups
steviewonder87's Contact & Social Links
nice one very like it good work jiffy :)
:poker:
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
True Blue Elite
Location: au7 Harm Street, Lowood
Date Registered: 29 March 2014
Last active: 16 days ago
Posts
2,616
Respect
Forum Rank
King of the Zombies
Primary Group
Custom Map Reviewer
My Groups
More
My Contact & Social Links
More
Personal Quote
'Straya Mate
×
JiffyNoodles's Groups
Donator ♥ Benevolent Soul who has our eternal gratitude and exclusive access to betas and the donator section of the forum.
Custom Map Reviewer Has permission to post map review topics in the Custom Map Reviews section of the forum.
Oil Rig Beta Access
Oil Rig Beta Access
How did you manage to get map reviewer status again?
I did a serious review on Cryogenic, and Trem approved

Double Post Merge: July 18, 2015, 09:44:56 pm
Not one of your better ones To....oh wait it's Jiffy, in that case nice review Jifster :)
Thanks?
Last Edit: July 18, 2015, 09:44:56 pm by JiffyNoodles
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
Location: gbMilton Keynes
Date Registered: 17 January 2014
Last active: 8 days ago
Posts
6,879
Respect
Forum Rank
Immortal
Primary Group
Community Scripter
My Groups
More
My Contact & Social Links
More
Signature
If you want scripts / features made for you, then contact me by PM or email / skype etc
it will cost you tho so if you have no intention of reciprocating don't even waste my time ;)
×
Harry Bo21's Groups
Donator ♥ Benevolent Soul who has our eternal gratitude and exclusive access to betas and the donator section of the forum.
Community Scripter Has shown effort and knowledge in the area of scripting while being a part of the UGX-Mods community.
Harry Bo21's Contact & Social Links[email protected]HarryBo21HarryBo000
lol, thats a "little" harsh maybe
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
Location: fi
Date Registered: 25 June 2013
Last active: 16 days ago
Posts
3,999
Respect
Forum Rank
Eviscerator
Primary Group
UGX V.I.P.
My Groups
More
My Contact & Social Links
More
×
HitmanVere's Groups
Donator ♥ Benevolent Soul who has our eternal gratitude and exclusive access to betas and the donator section of the forum.
UGX V.I.P.
UGX V.I.P.
Community Mapper Has released one or more maps to the UGX-Mods community which have been added to the UGX Map Manager.
BO3 Modtools Alpha
BO3 Modtools Alpha
This user has access to the Black Ops 3 Modtools Alpha
One thing I dont get is that this reviewer is in HUMOROUS section, why are people taking it seriously? :poker:
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
Location: gbMilton Keynes
Date Registered: 17 January 2014
Last active: 8 days ago
Posts
6,879
Respect
Forum Rank
Immortal
Primary Group
Community Scripter
My Groups
More
My Contact & Social Links
More
×
Harry Bo21's Groups
Donator ♥ Benevolent Soul who has our eternal gratitude and exclusive access to betas and the donator section of the forum.
Community Scripter Has shown effort and knowledge in the area of scripting while being a part of the UGX-Mods community.
Harry Bo21's Contact & Social Links[email protected]HarryBo21HarryBo000
Quote
It could be the world’s largest litter-box I guess, but there isn't a cat in the world that would waste his butt truffles on this mess

you just wasted those precious hours of yours

 this map will always feel like a child has just dumped his collection of model toys in his backyard sandpit, got half-way through assembling it, then ran off to get a cookie from mother. Although the mapper won’t admit it, this map is the epitome of box maps, meaning it is the shiniest turd in the toilet bowl.

Overall, if you managed to survive your 30 rounds of complete and utter shit

I think theres a fine line between "humour" and just insulting peoples work, or people themselves lol ;)
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
Location: gbNewport
Date Registered: 2 November 2014
Last active: 165 days ago
Posts
1,265
Respect
Forum Rank
Zombie Colossus
Primary Group
Member
My Contact & Social Links
More
Personal Quote
Embrace the Darkness
×
Tim Smith's Groups
Tim Smith's Contact & Social Linkstimsmith90THEREALBaDBoY17TimSmithMy clan Website
:poker:

fuck off stevie give people like him a change not every people is good at something you may good at mapping but you can't review a map i bet :poker:
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
True Blue Elite
Location: au7 Harm Street, Lowood
Date Registered: 29 March 2014
Last active: 16 days ago
Posts
2,616
Respect
Forum Rank
King of the Zombies
Primary Group
Custom Map Reviewer
My Groups
More
My Contact & Social Links
More
Personal Quote
'Straya Mate
×
JiffyNoodles's Groups
Donator ♥ Benevolent Soul who has our eternal gratitude and exclusive access to betas and the donator section of the forum.
Custom Map Reviewer Has permission to post map review topics in the Custom Map Reviews section of the forum.
Oil Rig Beta Access
Oil Rig Beta Access
fuck off stevie give people like him a change not every people is good at something you may good at mapping but you can't review a map i bet :poker:
um, he was correcting you for your grammatical error.
and also...
http://ugx-mods.com/forum/index.php/topic,4170.0.html
 :poker:
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
Location: gbNewport
Date Registered: 2 November 2014
Last active: 165 days ago
Posts
1,265
Respect
Forum Rank
Zombie Colossus
Primary Group
Member
My Contact & Social Links
More
Personal Quote
Embrace the Darkness
×
Tim Smith's Groups
Tim Smith's Contact & Social Linkstimsmith90THEREALBaDBoY17TimSmithMy clan Website
um, he was correcting you for your grammatical error.
and also...
http://ugx-mods.com/forum/index.php/topic,4170.0.html
 :poker:

what did i write something wrong wait Hold the phone

Edit : no i didn't he just .... and this is my first time reading a review lol
Last Edit: July 21, 2015, 09:02:40 am by Tim Smith
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
True Blue Elite
Location: au7 Harm Street, Lowood
Date Registered: 29 March 2014
Last active: 16 days ago
Posts
2,616
Respect
Forum Rank
King of the Zombies
Primary Group
Custom Map Reviewer
My Groups
More
My Contact & Social Links
More
Personal Quote
'Straya Mate
×
JiffyNoodles's Groups
Donator ♥ Benevolent Soul who has our eternal gratitude and exclusive access to betas and the donator section of the forum.
Custom Map Reviewer Has permission to post map review topics in the Custom Map Reviews section of the forum.
Oil Rig Beta Access
Oil Rig Beta Access
what did i write something wrong wait Hold the phone

Edit : no i didn't he just .... and this is my first time reading a review lol
so, say you're sorry to stevie for wrongly accusing him.
and next time, always be sure to check your sentences before you post them.
broken avatar :(
×
broken avatar :(
Location: us
Date Registered: 21 February 2014
Last active: 436 days ago
Posts
252
Respect
Forum Rank
Mr. Elemental
Primary Group
Member
My Contact & Social Links
More
×
ShotgunRagtime's Contact & Social LinksShotgunRagtime
Not a very good review.

Simply flaming a map while giving absolutely no context as to why you're flaming it isn't funny, it's confusing and gives the reader no idea what the map even is. I still don't actually understand what's wrong with the map. Is it because the weapons are bad? Is it because it's a box? I think you might have mentioned those two factors offhand near the middle of the review, but I'm not really sure about that.

Look at Tom's humorous reviews. He gives CONTEXT, and THEN drops the punchline. Not the other way around. Say what you disliked about the map, and then crack a joke about that. If I have no clue what you're joking about, it's not funny.

Furthermore, several jokes and phrases make little-to-no sense.

"...it feels like it’s trying harder to please you than a Back-Street Hooker"
I didn't know that back-street hookers really attempt to please you.

"...it ends up feeling more like an analogy of dating Paris Hilton. What you get may look attractive, but you've got to take like 50 showers after you get it"
An STD test, maybe. But why 50 showers? Would the experience really be that unpleasant?

"...I think this mapper's best weapon is attrition between the tanks I can't use"
I have absolutely no idea what this is supposed to mean.

There are more examples, but these are easy ones. Take your time, use your jests sparingly: it's not about the quantity of the jokes, it's about the quality of them.


 

Login

or login with an authentication provider below
Sign In with Google
Sign In with Twitter
Sign In with Discord
Sign In with Steam
Sign In with Facebook
Sign In with Twitch
Loading ...