Oh man Jiffy, this is why comedy is a very hard thing and also shows how a lot of the communication gets lost in writing as opposed to making a video where people can hear intent and emotion in your voice. Don't get too discouraged, stick with it.
I never posted my first funny video review here on UGX because now it's pretty hard for me to watch. It's on my channel and it's called "Frustration". Watching that will probably make you feel better about wherever you are at in life.

so, say you're sorry to stevie for wrongly accusing him.

In you're dreams man

Not a very good review.

Simply flaming a map while giving absolutely no context as to why you're flaming it isn't funny, it's confusing and gives the reader no idea what the map even is. I still don't actually understand what's wrong with the map. Is it because the weapons are bad? Is it because it's a box? I think you might have mentioned those two factors offhand near the middle of the review, but I'm not really sure about that.

Look at Tom's humorous reviews. He gives CONTEXT, and THEN drops the punchline. Not the other way around. Say what you disliked about the map, and then crack a joke about that. If I have no clue what you're joking about, it's not funny.

Furthermore, several jokes and phrases make little-to-no sense.

"...it feels like it’s trying harder to please you than a Back-Street Hooker"
I didn't know that back-street hookers really attempt to please you.

"...it ends up feeling more like an analogy of dating Paris Hilton. What you get may look attractive, but you've got to take like 50 showers after you get it"
An STD test, maybe. But why 50 showers? Would the experience really be that unpleasant?

"...I think this mapper's best weapon is attrition between the tanks I can't use"
I have absolutely no idea what this is supposed to mean.

There are more examples, but these are easy ones. Take your time, use your jests sparingly: it's not about the quantity of the jokes, it's about the quality of them.

Thanks for the tip, I'll remeber next that for next time

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Double Post Merge: July 21, 2015, 08:45:47 pm

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Oh man Jiffy, this is why comedy is a very hard thing and also shows how a lot of the communication gets lost in writing as opposed to making a video where people can hear intent and emotion in your voice. Don't get too discouraged, stick with it.
I never posted my first funny video review here on UGX because now it's pretty hard for me to watch. It's on my channel and it's called "Frustration". Watching that will probably make you feel better about wherever you are at in life.

And thanks to you too Tom.